The Financial Realities of the Sandwich Generation

If you’re in your 40s, 50s or even 60s, chances are you’re juggling more than just your own goals right now. Maybe your kids still need your help financially – while at the same time, your parents are beginning to lean on you too.

Welcome to the Sandwich Generation – where you're caught between two sets of responsibilities, and still trying to plan for your own future. It’s not easy, but it is manageable. And the good news is, you don’t have to do it alone.

The concept of the Sandwich Generation has been around since the 1980s, when it was first identified by American academic Dorothy Miller. While the term itself might have evolved, one thing has remained remarkably consistent: the weight of responsibility still falls more heavily on women.

Data from the 2022 HILDA survey backs this up; The age group carrying the most caregiving responsibility? Women aged 50 to 69 – with over 12% regularly caring for an elderly family member or someone with a disability[1].

What It Looks Like

For many of our clients, this phase includes:

• Paying for school fees or university costs
• Helping adult children with rent or deposits
• Supporting ageing parents with healthcare, transport, or living costs
• Managing your own mortgage, insurance, and KiwiSaver
• Trying to plan for retirement – when that feels very far away

It’s a lot. And it’s no wonder this group often feels financially stretched and emotionally drained. A Canadian study tells us that 86% of sandwich caregivers reported negative effects on their health and well-being, and two-thirds noted impacts on their employment due to caregiving responsibilities[2].

Let’s Break It Down

Here are some key areas to focus on:

1. Set Clear Boundaries (With Compassion)
   It’s natural to want to help family – but not at the expense of your own financial wellbeing. Decide what you can realistically contribute, set limits, and communicate them kindly. A plan is helpful for everyone. 
2. Make Sure You’re Covered First
   Your retirement, income protection, and insurance still matter. The oxygen mask analogy holds true – take care of your own security first so you can continue to support others sustainably.
3. Get Smart About Intergenerational Wealth
   Talk openly with parents (and kids, when appropriate) about estate planning, enduring powers of attorney, gifting, and expectations. Conversations now can reduce stress and confusion later.
4. Take Advantage of Advice
   There’s no one-size-fits-all here. That’s where a personalised plan comes in. We can help you balance your needs and goals with those of your loved ones – so you’re not just surviving this season but setting your whole family up for success.

Talking About It: Family Conversations That Aren’t Awkward

Knowing you need to talk to your parents or kids about money is one thing. Starting that conversation is another. Here are a few openers that can help:

• “Would you be okay if something happened to me tomorrow?”
• “Can we talk about the support I’ve been giving – and how to make it work for all of us?”
• “Have you got a will or power of attorney in place?”
• “What would you want, if you needed care or couldn’t live alone?”
• “Can we talk about setting some shared goals as a family?”

These conversations don’t have to be formal or scary. But they do need to happen – and they’re often easier with some guidance.

What Advice Looks Like – At Every Stage

We work with many clients who are supporting both parents and children. The right advice changes depending on where you’re at. Here's what financial support often looks like at different ages:

In Your 40s?
Focus on income protection, debt management, and starting a plan for intergenerational wealth transfer. You’re building the base.

In Your 50s?
This is often peak ‘sandwich’ pressure. We help clients reassess KiwiSaver, support grown-up children wisely, and prepare for legacy planning and retirement needs.

In Your 60s?
You may be winding down work, shifting into retirement, or taking on more of a support role for your own parents. Now is the time to structure income streams and plan for your own health and care needs down the track.

What Would Peace of Mind Feel Like?

That’s really the question, isn’t it?

Not just, how can I support everyone? But how can I do that in a way that doesn’t drain me, derail my own goals, or leave me feeling overwhelmed?
You don’t have to figure that out alone.

Let's Take the Weight Off Your Shoulders

When you're supporting loved ones at both ends of life, it's easy to put your own needs on the backburner. But your goals matter too – and a smart financial plan can help make space for all of it.

Whether it's reviewing your spending, minimising debts, or simply getting your strategy clear, we’re here to help.

Get in touch today and we can help you take the next step with confidence.

Disclaimer: This article has been prepared for the purpose of providing general information, without taking into consideration any particular person's objectives, financial situation or needs. Any opinions contained in it are held by the author as at the report date and are subject to change without notice.

[1] https://www.abc.net.au/news/2023-01-11/sandwich-generation-women-caring-for-children-and-their-parents/101685058

[2] https://www150.statcan.gc.ca/n1/daily-quotidien/240402/dq240402d-eng.htm